Surrounded by influence

by Chris Johnson

During school, community and sporting mental health workshops, I speak regularly about the importance of support networks. The aim is to help children and teenagers understand that the people around them need encouragement and support, not criticism. In this way, the conversation also becomes a practical approach to reducing bullying.

Most adults will already have a general understanding of what a support network is, but for clarity, your support network includes the people around you through choice or circumstance. This may include family, friends, classmates, teammates and work colleagues.

Some people in our support network are working towards the same outcome as us. We may have different roles and responsibilities, but we are still part of the same team. Without communication, cooperation and effective teamwork, it becomes much harder to achieve the desired result. This applies equally in the workplace, the classroom and team sport.

Then there are the people we allow a little closer, such as trusted friends and family members. These are often the people we speak to about our thoughts, emotions and experiences, including challenges involving other parts of our support network. Their responses can carry more weight because we value their opinions and listen to them with trust and respect.

This leads to another important part of a support network: influence.

Influence can be subtle. It does not always involve someone directly telling us what to do. More often, it develops through the behaviours, attitudes and standards we are exposed to each day.

When the people around us regularly avoid responsibility, complain or give up when situations become difficult, those behaviours can slowly begin to feel normal. Our motivation may drop without us even realising it. In contrast, spending time with people who are active, positive and working towards meaningful goals can encourage us to raise our own standards.

This does not mean we should judge or abandon people who are struggling. Everyone experiences difficult periods, and those are often the times when a strong support network matters most. However, there is a difference between supporting someone through a challenging time and allowing their ongoing attitudes or behaviours to pull you away from the person you want to become.

The people in your support network do not need to share your exact goals, personality or interests. They should, however, respect the direction you are trying to take. Support does not always mean agreement. At times, genuine support may involve an honest conversation, a respectful challenge or a reminder of what you are capable of.

It is also important to consider the influence you have on others. Are you encouraging the people around you or constantly criticising them? Are you helping them feel included, valued and capable?

A strong support network is not simply something we receive. It is something we all contribute to. The words we use, the behaviours we model and the way we respond to another person’s struggles can influence their confidence, choices and direction.The question is not only, “Who is supporting me?” It is also, “What kind of support am I providing to others?”